Being an insensitive bigot, Becoming a mookuthi model and What I do on a Saturday

The past few weeks, Chennai has been a low-range Cherrapunji and every morning we wake up ready to be surprised – maybe school or online class, office or work from home, sleep an extra hour and cook later and be late for everything else throughout the day. The worst is when everybody is at home getting in everybody’s way. Shiro believes we are all doing time-pass (which I cannot bring myself to fully disagree) and tries to entice us into going downstairs to play.

I try to click pictures of rain every time it rains. Just like how my compulsive need to take photographs of beautiful clean hotel bathrooms is matched by Yuvi’s need to bounce on a freshly made hotel bed So fucking middle-class!

I really liked the Netflix Cherrapunji ad because it shows rain so beautifully and kids trying hard to burst crackers amidst the downpour is sweet and endearing. I googled the ad now to share a link to the video and discovered that Netflix was slammed for it’s inaccurate depiction of the Cherrapunji people, for cultural appropriation and basically everything about the ad. By the way you are not supposed to call it Cherrapunji. They renamed it Sohra. Should I know that?

I am shocked by the anger and hatred people on the Internet are able to summon for an advertisement and that they could not find anything at all beautiful in the ad. Increasingly, I find that you’ve got to either totally hate something or totally love something. You have to pick a side and be vehemently opposed to the other side. Can’t you be in the middle or on the side or at a distance? I like some parts of the ad and I don’t really care about other things in the ad. That makes me an insensitive bigot which matches with how Jagan describes me during an argument. Insensitive bigot certainly sounds more assertive than pacifist.

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Mookuthi model

Mookuthi model

I am considering becoming a mookuthi model. You only need a cute nose and can continue to be fat. I’ve finally found my niche. I collect mookuthis of all shapes and sizes and wear them with absolute confidence. I like to believe I am being hip when I am wearing a 4-stone Besari mookuthi with jeans and a ring style mookuthi with a kanjivaram saree. The last time we were visiting Vummidi jewellers, this guy stops me saying ‘you’re wearing this big mookuthi. I have a custom made Annapakshi mookuthi that you will love’ and then brings out this beautiful mookuthi in the form of a swan. What am I supposed to do? I of course bought it. We had gone to the store for something else altogether.

Now I just need a jewellery brand to accidentally discover me.

What I do on a Saturday

This picture should tell you what I am up to on a Saturday. No, I don’t sell vegetables part-time. I go to the grocery store, get over-excited by all the produce, my head exploding with a ton of recipe ideas and I try to over-compensate for the takeout we ordered on Friday and Thursday and maybe Wednesday night and buy about 10 kilos of vegetables that I carry up the stairs as validation of my weight training. I spend the rest of the day prepping and putting away all of the vegetables, grinding idli batter and clearing out the fridge in between dropping and picking up kids from their weekend classes. I feel both accomplished and exploited. What is with me?

Movies

I watched Bullet Train (Netflix) on my friend’s suggestion and thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t know what this genre is called. I thought it was funny, silly and quirkily profound. I loved the names of the characters and the madness of it all.

One movie you should watch if you’ve not already watched is Fight Club (Prime), the 1999 film that had Brad Pitt as the soap salesman. It seems silly to suggest this cult-classic as if I’ve discovered it afresh. I watched it only a few weeks back although I had watched the trailer back then. It speaks to the disillusioned cynic, is supremely relevant today, has brilliant quotable dialogues and is really clever. You’ll see what I mean. Absolute must-watch!

Over the past few weeks, I ventured into watching horror movies which I tend to avoid in general because really good horror movies fuck with your mind. They plant very ordinary, seemingly plausible but chilling ideas in your mind and you just cannot get it out. The ones I watched last week were mostly of the jump-scare types that if watched alone at night may make you a bit nervous to look under the bed, behind the door and throw away old dolls but nothing unreversible or long-lasting. Hasini guided us through ‘Conjuring’ and ‘Nun’ having watched them multiple times herself. We had watched ‘Cold Case’ (Prime) earlier in the week. I am not sure what ‘Cold Case’ classifies as – ‘Horror’ or ‘Suspense’. It was a mix of neither.

For all my bravado, I do like to keep someone by my side while watching these, Shiro at the minimum.

I questioned myself if giving movie suggestions is really helpful in this day and age. After scrolling through Netflix and Prime for a couple of hours looking for something to watch, I re-assured myself that my movie suggestion was indeed useful to someone somewhere. Therefore, I want to ask you readers to please suggest movies to watch. Any language, any period, but needs to be on OTT. 

Bye!